A response to Dan's question (part III)

The believer is a man or woman of faith because they belong to God. As such they can do things which please God and in fact they are continuously motivated to do the things which please their Lord, and what's more God is pleased with all the things they do in faith. Sure, they still sin and are willfully disobedient, but the conscience is completely changed when the spirit comes to dwell in the soul. There didn't really aught to be any Christian who would embrace homosexuality in their lives.
So far as an unbeliever not being able to help being a homosexual, again the bible has something to say. Romans 1:18-27

The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness,
since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them.
For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.
For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened.
Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools
and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles.
Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another.
They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.
Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones.
In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.

We can see that God has a clear view about what is natural and what is unnatural in terms of people's sexual relationships with one another. We have to make sure we keep this in full view. The context of this verse (included above) clearly shows God's disdain for homosexuality. Also we've got to remember that the desires which we have come from a sin sick heart, not an upright one. Just because people desire something or to do something, doesn't make it either excusable or upright. Again this is evident in the passage above; 'God gave them over to the sinful desires of their hearts'.
So, to sum up I would say this: Take any opportunity you get to tell your friend the gospel message. Explain to her that sin is much more than the individual acts, it's our natures as they are seen by God. Explain that we cannot change ourselves. Explain the need of the Saviour. If the issue of homosexuality crops up, explain to her that it is a manifestation of a sinful nature, but that God can overcome every blot and blemish. Explain that god will turn no-one away, no matter how vile.
The gospel must come to people first and God must do a work of salvation in the heart of somebody before they can begin to act in a spiritual way. That's the key. So often Christians get these things in the wrong order. They ask the leopard to change its spots and the Ethiopian to change his skin when they simply can't! Neither can the sinner change his or her sinful life, it must be a work of God.
I really hope this has helped Dan. Read around the texts I've mentioned. I'd be happy to talk further if you like.